Half way there!!!!

Finally, after Halloween, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Martin Luther King Jr., after 4 visits to the ER, 3 ear infections, the croup, stomach virus, and a 2 week long cold, continuing fever, 7 weeks in Tx, and 3 1/2 months....we have officially made it half way. 3 1/2 months doesn't seem like a long time, but it feels like it has been a year, and I feel like the next 3 1/2 months can not go by fast enough. I knew that taking care of two girls alone would be hard, but I didn't know it would be this hard, that the challenges are never ending. My poor little Ava has had a reoccuring fever for the past week, it gets up to 106. I have taken her to the ER and the doctors office, it's hard to know what to do in this situation. The doctors say that a fever is not much to worry about it's how they act with the fever, but the ER doctors say that they should come in immediately if they have a fever that high, and then all they do is drug them up so the fever breaks and send em home!! All I want is my husband home, he might not know more than me with taking care of the kids, but at least he would be here to help and comfort me and calm me down from freaking out when my sick baby can't stop crying. Why does being a parent have to be so hard, I wish they could tell us what was wrong with them, or somehow know for sure how bad the situation is. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained and exhausted...functioning is just not on the list right now, but having to be there for your babies is not something that can be put on hold till you get a little nap, food, or even a shower, it's a 24 hour job especially when they don't feel well. Even if they are sleeping or napping I am still worrying, wondering if the fever has gone down, do I take her to the ER...what do I do? It's such a bittersweet time, knowing that we have made it half way, but then knowing we have as long left as we just got through, knowing that all the things we have been through these past few months could happen again over and over.