Our Sweet Girls turn 2!

I can't believe that today is the day that our sweet girls are turning 2, where have the past two years gone? I know that we all say when they are babies I can't wait until they crawl, I can't wait until they walk, or talk, are running, playing sports, able to be more like a "human being" than a baby who just lays there. I miss the days of just holding my girls while they nap or them cuddling up on me. All these things that I couldn't wait for have happened and I was just wishing away their baby stages.I can still remember 2 years ago like it was yesterday. We had a lamaze class scheduled for Saturday September 12, 2009, I woke up at about 6 am to use the restroom, when I went to lay back down I felt something weird...when I went back to the restroom my water broke (or one of my waters broke). I screamed to Will to get up, and he flew out of bed and said that it wasn't time for lamaze class yet, (he was completely dreading it, haha). When I told him what happened, he called the Naval hospital to let them know we were on our way. They didn't want to seem to believe us, they asked if I had just peed in my pants, right I think I would know if I did that. They said since we lived out in town and it was considered an emergency to go to the closest hospital. At this point we didn't have any bags packed nothing, we still had 6 more weeks in our minds. We loaded up as fast as possible, called all the family, and found someone to help with our dog. I had experienced Braxton hicks contractions just about from the start of my pregnancy, but real ones are nothing like those fake little things. I started contracting on our way to the hospital, and I didn't think I was going to make it. Let me remind you we had never been to this hospital, had no idea around, nothing....when we got there we parked and walked in, no one around to help us (as I'm soaked from my water still breaking). We finally made it up to labor and delivery, they were taking their sweet time with the people in front of us, and the waiting room full of pregnant people. Luckily there was a nurse standing there when we checked in and said we are having twins and I am only 32 weeks pregnant, my water broke. She told me to get my stuff and hurry back. They got me all hooked up and did an ultrasound to see how the babies were facing, unfortunately they didn't have enough room to do anything so a c-section was a must. They gave me some shots to try and put the contractions off, and allow the girls lungs to develop just a bit longer...it clearly didn't work. They moved us to our own huge room, Will went off to get breakfast and call the family....when the nurse came in I told her I needed to push, and the contractions weren't stopping at all, she called the doctor in, I was already at 5 cm in just 3 hours...I was going too fast for them to put it off any longer, they called for an emergency c-section, we were up next!!!! At about 9:50 they took me back, they made Will wait outside while they got everything prepped and gave me my spinal (worst pain ever)! Finally they called him in to sit next to me...as they started working away behind the blue curtain, I could finally hear them say baby A, it's a girl, 10:42, they showed sweet Ava to me for a brief second then took her away. I quickly hear baby B, it's a girl, 10:44, they did not let me see my sweet Jaelyn, which worried me, I didn't hear any crying nothing. Ava had done really well with the adjustment to real world, but Jaelyn couldn't quite handle it, they had to help her start breathing then put her on oxygen, I had no idea any of this was happening till a few hours later when I saw pictures. When they took the girls up to the NICU, they asked Will to go with them, which left me all alone in surgery just being stitched back together with nothing to show from it. I waited in recovery for a few hours and Will finally came back to show me all the pictures he had gotten and to see how beautiful and tiny they were. When they finally took me up to my room, I asked if I could see my girls, they said not until the spinal had worn off and I could walk to the bathroom myself. She asked me to wiggle my toes to show her that it was gone, when I told her I was, she said alright maybe a few more hours, because

they aren't moving...bummer!!! Our daughters were born at 10:42, and I didn't get to see them until about 8 pm, it was the longest day of my life...how can someone keep you from seeing their children...well when you can't move or do anything about it, very easily!! That first time we went up there, I had no idea what I was in for...we had to wash our hands for 2 minutes straight before even entering, no jewelry no nothing....but it didn't matter, the sight of my sweet girls was all the mattered to me. I finally got to see them, they were pitiful but beautiful, they laid there peacefully not moving or making any sound. They allowed me to hold Ava, but

not Jaelyn she had to completely come off her oxygen before she could get out of her "cage" (that's what we called it). We weren't allowed to feed them for a few days, then they could only have their feedings through a tube in their nose (which most of the time they ripped out). The next four weeks were a challenge of trying to get to the hospital and trying to spend as much time as possible with our daughters, but on October 11 2009 we came home with 2 perfect daughters, that have been nothing but a blessing to our lives. We love them with all our hearts and couldn't imagine a day without them. Happy 2nd Birthday Ava and Jaelyn! We love you!

Our first picture as a family of four, we did kangaroo care with the girls as much as we could!

We have come so far in two years, so big and grown up!

The sweet sound of Homecoming!

Well for those of you who want to hear about our homecoming here it is!!

Tuesday night after I finally got the whole to do list done, I finally was able to fall asleep at about 10:30, oh how quickly the alarm clock went off at 1:30. As I slowly got up and called the hotline for any updates on their arrival, the message said they had landed at midnight and would be there 3:30-4, about 30 minutes earlier than originally thought! I started going into panic mode thinking I wasn't going to make it. We had a couple of friends coming to support us and as I text them to tell them they were early and to call one of friends to wake him up, I told him to get up and hurry up! He came over help me hang the welcome home sign and get the girls in the car. As we drove over I was so anxious and nervous, more so that we weren't going to make it in time. I got a phone call that they were coming on base, ugh now I was more nervous I wasn't going to make it in time for the buses to pull up! As we got there and tried to find a spot to park, we got the girls in the stroller and were running over to the crowd of people. They told us that only four guys had come through, my heart started racing thinking that one of them could have been Will and I would have missed it! Our other friends pulled up right in time. I kept asking them all to watch for me while I dealt with the girls screaming at my feet (not a good way to start). Pablo finally started yelling at me that he saw him, as I fought with him that thas was not him, it turned out it was. I left the girls with our friends are ran to meet my man. It was the most amazing feeling to be held once again in his arms. To my suprise he didn't look any different than when he left. As he came to see the girls, since they were already upset that I ran off from them, they were not in a good mood at all. The look in his eyes to see his sweet girls was the best feeling ever!
Although yesterday was the longest day of my life, it was the most rewarding day! I was so amazed at how Will jumped back in. He was willing to change diapers, feed the girls, give them a bath whatever they needed he did whatever they would allow him to do. They are still hesitant but the day when better than I had expected for how little sleep we were all running on. I am so thankful to have my amazing husband back, to have our girls daddy back, and to be a family again! Thank you to all again, I am so blessed by my sweet family!

EEK! The time is here!

After 7 long months, 210 days, going from 2 13 month olds to 2 20 month olds, this is what we have been through. After 2 sweet little girls started walking in January, to running, to now talking. After 12 holidays and 1 anniversary. After 6 trips to the ER (including Ava, my mom, and me), 2 croups, 1 stomach virus, 3 colds. After all fall and all winter and most of spring, the day has finally come, my man will be walking off that bus at anytime. We are done counting down the days we are now down to counting the minutes & seconds.

I have been waiting and dreaming of this moment since October 16, 2010 at 3 am, the day we said goodbye. As we didn't stick around to watch the buses leave, but we will be there early to welcome those same buses back. What will this moment feel like? Will it be everything I have thought it was going to be? I'm sure how could it not. Will the girls be so fussy that they ruin it for everyone else? Probably but oh well. Will I be able to recognize him with everyone else wearing the same thing? Uh it might take a minute, but hopefully. Thinking about this day and not really knowing how it's going to go, how late they will be, or how long our day will be, is so nerveracking but in such a good way.

We all have wishes, hopes, and dreams in life, all a military's family wants out of life is to have their families together. To not have to miss out on some of the most important days of their childrens lives. To be there to hold their wife when it's going all wrong, to be able to cook your husband dinner, or to know that he is in a bed and not on the ground.

They make a sacrifice that not many are willing to make, they truly are our heros, and we don't give them enough credit. Through all the holidays, all the weekends, being sick, they work, they don't get a day off. They don't get to go to bed early, or wake up late, they stay up most nights working to make sure that they bring home everyone they left with and to do their job.

Some people have a spouse that travels for work or works long days and late nights, but there is something about a military man coming home that only military spouses can relate to. The sense of security and excitement, to know that they are finally safe again, that you have made it all this time and nothing major went wrong. After all the nights waiting up late next to the phone, or with every knock on your door and your heart racing, or every car that stops in front of your house, those fears are all gone when they step off that bus. And for me that's today. I have never been more excited, more anxious, more nervous in my whole life. My adrenaline has started pumping fast, I just can't wait to see my man!!

Thanks to everyone for you love, prayers, and support I am proud to say that our family is back together!!

Finally the month of May!

From the day they leave we all look forward to entering the month they come home, well I have finally entered that month, thank the Lord! The true countdown can begin, I wish that you all could countdown with me, but because of safety I can't let that information out! I am so excited I get butterflies everytime I think about the moment he steps off that bus. I try to imagine what it will be like, will I be anxious/nervous, will I be so excited that I feel sick, will I be overwhelmed by pure joy? I can't wait to find out.
It's weird after 7 months of being alone, raising 2 kids, it almost feels like this routine has become normal, that this is just how it is, the extent of our lives are through email and a very occassional phone call. I know that that is not how it is, and I can't wait for it to not be anymore, but at the moment it still doesn't feel real. I don't think it will feel real till I'm standing there waiting with my girls to see our man! I am nervous of how the girls will react, will they remember, will they be timid or scared, will they welcome him home with a big hug and kiss? These thoughts are almost driving me insane, not like I'm not already to that point anyways. This has been a long journey, so many things have happened that he has missed out on, I can't wait for him to get home and jump back into our family again!
I keep thinking of all the things I need to do, I need to clean the house, turn insurance and cell phones on, find something for me and the girls to wear, go grocery shopping, wash cars, the list seems endless, but in the end what does he care what I'm wearing or what the girls are wearing, will he even notice or remember? No probably not, but I know it's a thought that we all have, that we have to look perfect, I mean after all it's been 7 months.
I can't say it enough, but thank you to all my family and friends that have been by my side this whole 7 months, we have had some very good times, I just wish my man could have been here to share it with us! I love each and every one of you, and I don't know what I would have done without you! Especially my momma! After becoming a mom and then Will being gone for so long, I never realized how much I really needed my mom, even being so far away it is so good just to hear her voice, and all that she does for me, I can't thank you enough, I love you to pieces!!
Well I can't wait to start our journey together again, it will be such an amazing feeling to have him home again!! I also can't wait to begin writing the coming home blog, I am hoping to have it posted before we run out the house that day!! Thanks to all for everything!

It's April!!

April is finally upon us, oh how I have waited for this month to come. I finally get to say I will see you next month! How good does that sound? As I sit here and think about the past 6 months, I think of what a crazy long journey it has been. We have been through so much and we still have 6 weeks to go! I know 6 weeks is not much, I can't complain about that when we have already done so much time, but I seriously can't wait any longer, I am getting so excited. I can't wait to see my sweet mans face, to see him with our precious daughters again, to see how they act and what they do, just to be held again, to have a conversation with an adult at night, to not spend the nights alone anymore, to not spend the weekends alone!! Since I had been back from Tx the weather hadn't been as great as it could have been, I felt like I wasn't missing out on much without having my man home, but now that the weather has been amazing, it makes me miss him that much more. To know that all my friends are out with their husbands enjoying the weekends together, or spending time out in the beautiful sunshine, I long for that, to just go to the park with my hubby and watch our girls play, to take them to the zoo, or to even go run together. I am in some desperate need of lovin from him, and I can't wait to just cuddle up in his arms. Living the military lifestyle is hard, it's hard on your body, it's hard on your mind, it makes your days long, and your nights longer, it makes raising kids so difficult, it makes going to the grocery store nearly impossible, and it makes getting 5 minutes alone very impossible! I could care less about the readjustment time it will take to get used to being a family again, I just want him home!! I am so proud of him and all he has done, there hasn't been a time that I have gotten a email or phone call that I can remember him complaining about a single thing, I really wish I could be more like him. I hate to complain about the past 6 months because I have gotten to raise our precious girls and see them grow and change before my eyes, but somedays it's just so hard not to whine about something. But finally I WILL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH!

5 down 2 to go!

Today we hit the 5 month mark, I can't believe we are almost done, I'm so excited! It feels like it's been an eternity since I saw my man standing in front of me. I know it's only been 5 months, and looking back 5 months doesn't seem like that long ago, but it seems like forever since we have been together. I know 2 months is not long at all until we get him home, but it sure will feel like 5 months all over again! I am praying that I can keep calm and keep it together this last little bit that we have left to push through. I have always thought that the people that are deployed are the ones in danger, that we at home need to be praying for their safety 24/7 (and we do), but what I didn't realize is that I would need prayer for my own and my childrens safety as well, I didn't know that my girls would try to kill me everyday of my life, or each other, or me kill them (not really, it's a joke)...it's a dangerous job! Today we celebrated by going to the park with our friends, and then I took my sweet peas on a date to Olive Garden our favorite place! They have never been so good at one meal, I never heard a peep out of them, they sat there nicely and ate their meal and people watched the whole time. After dinner we went over to the mall, looked around for a little bit, still never heard a sound from them, then I took them to the play place in the mall (usually we have a rough time staying in the play place), they had a blast! They even gave some random little boy kisses, although gross it's better than them biting him. Since it wasn't very crowded I even let them walk back through the mall and to the exit, Jaelyn helped push the stroller the whole time, while Ava batted her eyes, blew kisses, and said hello to everyone (even the maniquins). I was amazed at how well they listened and stayed right by my side, usually it's buh bye with a wave and off Ava goes in the completely opposite direction, Jaelyn is usually the one that sticks close and wants to hold hands. We got to the door to leave and I was terrified at the trantrum that I thought was about to happen because of all the people that were around with getting them in their stroller to go to the car, much to my dismay, there was not a sound, when they easily got in there and buckled up...I was in shock!! I had an amazing day with my girls, and although this is a tough life it is completely worth it...I wouldn't take back a second of any day for anything, if I had changed one thing about my past I might not be where I am today with my amazing husband, and two amazing girls, with such a wonderful family and in-laws, with awesome friends!! So congratulations to us, we are almost done!!!!!!!!

New Obsession!!

So I have recently been obsessed with getting new music to my ipod. Finding a song that relates to me or maybe a part of a song, I have always loved music, but when a song comes on the radio and it reminds you of your loved one, then it's hard to keep listening. So now that I am over that, I enjoy finding songs that remind me of my hubby, and I can't wait for him to be home with us! So I am going to tell you my playlist that's in my ipod as my favorites, listen to a couple and see what you think!

Don't you wanna stay- Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson- "I don't want to just make love, I want to make love last"

I won't give up- Jana Kramer- "I will be by your side if ever you fall deep in the dead of the night"

Let me down easy- Billy Currington- "If I leave my heart with you tonight, can you promise me you will treat it right"

A little bit stronger- Sara Evans- "Turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you, I listened to it for a minute, but then I changed it, I'm getting a little bit stronger"

Lovesong- Adele- "However far away I will always love you, however long I stay I will always love you, whatever words I say I will always love you"

Need you now- Lady Antebellum- "It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now, said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control, and I need you now. And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now"


I know I'm usually stuck on country, but I have expanded my music wings and gone out there with a few others, I hope you enjoy my favorite playlist!!

To My Love!

To My Husband, My Love, My Best Friend,
Thank you to all you do, thank you for risking your life for our freedom, when not many else will do it. Thank you for working so hard, so that I can stay home with our daughters. I can't thank you enough for all you do, for the sacrifices that you make for our family. To be gone so much, and miss out on all these things back home. You truly are a hero! You are so strong when I am weak, you make everyday so much better. I can't wait to have you home, to have our family whole again. I can't wait to wrap up in your arms, to feel your warm touch. I can't wait to see you with the girls, they need their daddy so bad. I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful and loving man, I am the luckiest girl in the world. I wouldn't trade a day of our life together for anything else. We have been through the best, the worst, and everything in between together, and that is how it will be for the rest of our lives. I love you, I miss you, and I can't wait to have you home where you belong!

Since the computer won't let me load it, look up this song and really listen to it!
Toby Keith-American Soldier

Half way there!!!!

Finally, after Halloween, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Martin Luther King Jr., after 4 visits to the ER, 3 ear infections, the croup, stomach virus, and a 2 week long cold, continuing fever, 7 weeks in Tx, and 3 1/2 months....we have officially made it half way. 3 1/2 months doesn't seem like a long time, but it feels like it has been a year, and I feel like the next 3 1/2 months can not go by fast enough. I knew that taking care of two girls alone would be hard, but I didn't know it would be this hard, that the challenges are never ending. My poor little Ava has had a reoccuring fever for the past week, it gets up to 106. I have taken her to the ER and the doctors office, it's hard to know what to do in this situation. The doctors say that a fever is not much to worry about it's how they act with the fever, but the ER doctors say that they should come in immediately if they have a fever that high, and then all they do is drug them up so the fever breaks and send em home!! All I want is my husband home, he might not know more than me with taking care of the kids, but at least he would be here to help and comfort me and calm me down from freaking out when my sick baby can't stop crying. Why does being a parent have to be so hard, I wish they could tell us what was wrong with them, or somehow know for sure how bad the situation is. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained and exhausted...functioning is just not on the list right now, but having to be there for your babies is not something that can be put on hold till you get a little nap, food, or even a shower, it's a 24 hour job especially when they don't feel well. Even if they are sleeping or napping I am still worrying, wondering if the fever has gone down, do I take her to the ER...what do I do? It's such a bittersweet time, knowing that we have made it half way, but then knowing we have as long left as we just got through, knowing that all the things we have been through these past few months could happen again over and over.

Mommy!!

Most days being a mom is so rewarding, I get paid with sweet smiles, slobbery kisses, and the chance to see my girls grow and learn before my eyes. But why is it when they are sick we don't get a little pay? I'm getting paid with no sleep, sucking out boogers, fussy girls, and the worst exhaustion of my life. We are now going on 2 1/2 weeks of being sick and the girls got it in full force, sometimes I don't know what to do. Raising two kids alone is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, I can't rely on my other half to help me out when I need a little sleep or when I need to feel better too. I can't wait to have my husband home, not only to have our family together again, but to also get a little break! The past few days have felt like they are never going to end, no naps, no sleep, no eating, no breaks...what do I do? As I sit here complaining, knowing that it is not going to make my life any easier or make my girls or me any better, I can hear them through the monitor in their room saying hi back and forth to each other. It's encouraging to hear there is still some sweet pea in them even when they don't feel well, that's more than I can say about myself. I have been in one of the worst moods of my life, because it is so discouraging being sick for so long and knowing that your doctor won't do a thing about it, that I can't get out of my funk, and I know it's not the girls fault and that them getting sick is only my fault, so why should I take it out on them.

Calling In!

Why is it that being a mom we can't just call in sick, we don't have any sick days built into our job? When we don't feel well we still have to change poopy diapers, give baths, be playmate, kiss booboo's, make our children three meals a day and two snacks, and have to cook whoever else wants food in the family, we still have to take them to Dr. appointments, and have them dressed and grocery shop. And of course the one day we aren't feeling well they want to wake up early and not nap. I wouldn't change being a mom for anything, but anyone who thinks being a mom is an easy job or is not a full time job, come take care of my kids for a couple days while you are not feeling well, I'm sure your mind will change!! I know it's not my girls fault that I don't feel well, but I would just like to call in sick today and not show up for work!

Day 14- A picture from your cell phone!

Since most of my pictures are taken from my cell phone, since I always have it on me it's the most convenient thing to use! I had a hard time choosing which photo to pick, and since lately my girls won't sit next to each other long enough to get a picture together, I had to choose two!

My sweet Ava opening a book from her grandma!!

Christmas 2010

My sweet Jaelyn playing with her car from grandma! This is the only toy they played with for a week, then they discovered all the other ones!

Christmas 2010

I loved seeing the joy in their sweet little faces over a new toy or a new book, I wish we could all be children again and have something so small bring such sweet smiles to everyones faces. Christmas was suprisingly a good day, I got to spend it with my sweet peas and I got a phone call from my hubby, the only thing more I could have asked for was him being there...maybe next year!!

finally home!

Yesterday as we started our day out to a rough start, since the girls never do what I want them to when I want them to, they got up too early for the long day that I knew we would have. We left for the airport at 9:45 our flight left at 12:35 (that's missing nap number 1), they finally fell asleep for about an hour and it is not comfortable holding 20 lbs still for that long. The flight was actually half way decent, a little fussing here and there but not bad. My sweet neighbor picked us up from the airport, and I had to say goodbye to my mom after 7 weeks of her help was really hard, I miss her already! After such a long day the girls were exhausted but I just couldn't put them to bed at 5 p.m. and holding them off for bed is a nightmare. We finally made it to 6:30...the poor things didn't really remember their room and were scared at first and woke up a couple times crying not knowing where they were! I am hoping now that the holidays are over and we are back to our daily normal routine time will start to go by a little faster. The first 4 weeks flew by in a blink of an eye, but since then it has been creeping so slowly that I feel that we will never make it. I feel that this life has become normal, and I hate that, this is not my life...I know I'm a military wife and this is how it is, but I am married and my girls have an amazing daddy! I want that life back!

"At night when I crawl in my bed,
My lonely pillow beneath my head,
I close my eyes and say a prayer.
God keep him safe way over there,
And make me strong so I won't cry.

It's kind of hard to be alone,
And teach the kids as they've grown,
Without the strength of a fathers hand
To guide them in this troubled land.

So I'll need a little help from you,
to let me know what I should do.
And God will you please let him know,
that we love and miss him so.

And then I feel across the bed,
To where he used to lay his head,
And I close my eyes so very tight,
So I won't cry again tonight,
And whisper to the evening air,
Good night my love way over there!"

It is a new year!

2010 was a good year, it was full of love, family, and good times...there wasn't anything too exciting that happened, other than my girls turned 1. Although ringing in the new year our first year of marriage we spent it in Vegas (and I was sick), then last year we didn't even make it to midnight (sick again), this year I spent it with family, but I didn't get to ring in the new year with a kiss from my husband, and althought we didn't make it to midnight last year at least I got to wake up in the new year with my man by my side. Time has been going so slow, but at least now I get to say I will see you this year, we will be together soon (but not soon enough), we get to ring in our new year with a kiss in May, we get to hold hands and be giddy like we are 16 again, oh how I can't wait. There is so much to look forward to this year, my love comes home, my girls turn two, I get to spend time with friends, family!! I hope everyone has a wonderful new year, and counts all their blessings, and never takes a second of their day for granted. We can't wait to welcome home all our loved ones, who have missed so much!